I'd be perfectly happy...
March 14, 2008
"I believe I would be perfectly happy if I were weaving black instead of blue."
I watched myself write these words in a letter dated December 9, 2007 and even as I wrote them I could see how silly they were. But I really believed them. This is art imitating life. Or more accurately, weaving reflecting my life .If only I were doing something else right now, then happiness would surely follow.
Or is it even more simple than that? At that moment in December, I thought I wasn't happy and searched for a reason outside of myself. I blamed the color of the warp on the loom. That takes the responsibility off of me. I don't even have to think about being happy until all the blue is off and I'm weaving the happiness producing black.
What a lot of extra work I make for myself. With a simple change in attitude I can be happy NOW. Why not enjoy the process of weaving blue? It seems so obvious three months later with the comfort of looking back and knowing that none of my worries really amounted to anything.
I have a day stretching before me with no appointments and no plans. Yesterday, I was excited to think I could write and weave and do all the things I've been putting off until I had time. And now I have the time and what am I doing? Wishing I were weaving instead of writing. Putting off the things I thought I wanted to do. I fill my time with wiping muddy dog feet and looking up words in the dictionary and making a fire burn with damp wood. I think I'd be perfectly happy if it weren't raining and the fire would burn and I had just the right amount of coffee at just the right temperature…
By the way, I'm weaving black.
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